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“Modern Cavemen” Jerry Danielsen

March 2, 2010

Isn’t it great that we are sophisticated?

We have paint cans to apply our superstitious graffiti
Instead of having to chisel and hammer on stone walls
Like our primitive ancestors did.

We are so above those savage cave people –
We have guns to pierce our ears instead of using bones –

And we have chemically treated paint
to go on our faces instead of clay and mud.

We’re so advanced, we also have psychologists, psychiatrists
and sociologists to unravel the complex net of advanced problems we have.

Aren’t we lucky?

We have other people butcher our meat for us
To keep us from being so animal-like.

As we shave the hair off of our mammalian bodies,
We prove we are modern.

And when our tribes fight each other we can press buttons
to do it the clean way.

The miracles of science have enabled us to last longer
And live faster. Sometimes, I have a couple of hours a week
To do nothing, but sit and worry about wasted time.

Those backward cave people didn’t accomplish anything,
Just sleeping and hunting and eating .. inside of a natural smile.

They didn’t even have a way to tell time.

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